Lately

So lately has not been the best time for me. I got so close to my dream coming true of meeting Alyssa Milano and then lost it. I have been called every name in the book by people who I thought were my friends at one point. I have lost a good family friend and my Great Aunt Alice last September. I have been made to feel worthless and like everything I am and love is stupid. So yeah it has not been the best time for me lately. I have cried so much about everything and I am just done now. It takes me a while to realize things and to believe in those realizations and now I have.
 I never thought anybody would do anything to help me make my dream come true. If I had had the money, I would have been there no questions asked but it was so last minute that I didn't have the money then so the great Alyssa's Army on Twitter tried to raise the money for me to go and meet Alyssa. Unfortunately, it was more expensive than any of us realized and we couldn't do it. So yeah I was sad I mean who wouldn't be that is one of my biggest dreams to meet my Hero and Idol Alyssa Milano and I am beyond grateful for everyone who tried to help I really am. I realize that it just wasn't the right time for my dream to come true but that doesn't mean it won't. I know it will. I dream about it so much and everyone tells me it will happen that it has to happen sometime. Alyssa means so much to me. She has made me feel like everything is going to be ok when I felt like it wasn't. She has made me smile and giggle when I felt I would never do that again. She has given me hope when I had lost it all. She's just amazing. She is like Wonder Woman or Super Woman to me. Her beautiful heart full of unconditional love and compassion is amazing to me. Nobody has ever made me feel the way she has and I am so glad that I have the connection to her that I have through Twitter. I would have never found any of the happiness that I did without it and her. Nothing and/or nobody is ever going to take that away from me no matter what. When I joined Twitter I did so to not be lonely anymore and to have a connection to Alyssa and also my ex BFF convinced me to join. I didn't join to cause drama or to hurt anyone or to get sucked into any drama. I don't want anything to do with drama. Twitter is a happy place for me and it will stay that way. I know who my true friends are now and I know I will never lose this amazing connection to my hero Alyssa Milano. Just because I found love with someone doesn't make me a bad person.
I have passions, dreams, and loves just like everyone else. It doesn't make me any less of person and nothing will deter me from pursuing those dreams and passions. I am who I am you can either accept me for it and be my friend or leave me alone and go your own way.
Here are some things I learned from my hard times lately:
1. Don't let anyone take away your happiness or make you feel like your dreams and loves and passions are stupid. It's what makes you who you are and if people make you feel that way you need to just ignore them and go be with your real friends.
2. Don't bottle things up. I do that a lot. I either shut down or explode when I do and it's not good. Write it down that's what I always had to do since I grew up as an only child I rarely had anyone to talk to about anything but now I do. I have the best Fiance and friends who I can talk to and they give really good advice and make me feel better even if it takes me a while to realize it. So Thank you to my fiance Rob, and BFF's Sarah, Ellen, Jen, Terry, Lisa, and Delphine.
3. Have really good role models and hero's and idols in your life like I do. They help make you who you are and inspire you everyday to do good things and make the world a better place. Alyssa Milano, Stana Katic, Lucy Hale, Dana Delany, Shania Twain, Martina McBride, and Carrie Underwood are just some of mine.
4. Don't dwell on things it just makes everything worse. Just ignore the people who make you feel bad. Focus on all the good in your life. Listen to music, write, read, draw, be creative, just do anything to distract your self and take your frustrations out on your pillow or something that can't be broken. Learned that lesson the hard way plenty of times.
5. Just be who you are if people can't accept you for who you are then get rid of them. There are people out there who will accept you for you are. You know yourself better than anyone.
Lastly, always follow your dreams. If there is one thing Alyssa has taught me is never give up on your dreams. They are your dreams because you made them your dreams. There is nothing stopping you from making your dreams come true sometimes it just takes longer than others but don't give up, always believe, and have the courage to pursue your dreams. I will never give up on my dreams. I know I will meet Alyssa one day and I know I will be a published author one day. One of my passions is writing as you can see and it is my dream to be published one day and I know I can do it. As Phoebe Halliwell said, " Everything happens for a reason".
~Peace and Love~